f Bhavna’s Weblog: Marriages are made in Heaven !! but arranged in India

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Marriages are made in Heaven !! but arranged in India



A Nostalgic/Dejavu feelings…One of my very good friend is going to get married soon, actually ASAP once the horoscopes matches with the boy of the same community/caste/ religion etc and chosen by her parents and elders although the final decision is surely hers.

I’m really not sure if these two words “ARRANGED MARRIAGE” even exist in the western dictionary. In India it is quite common, 

ONCE THE HOROSCOPES ARE MATCHED……

HIS parents meets the GIRL, the BOY meets the HER parents and then BOY and GIRL meet once or may be twice before they say "I do"



Relying on family to select a potential spouse can be considered an advantage as they have years of wisdom and experience. The family wants to provide their children with protection, security and happiness. However, does this system guarantee their children a happily-ever-after?

On the other hand ……

Love marriages are ideally based on friendship, respect, familiarity and understanding, unlike arranged marriages in which you marry a stranger with whom you have no history or bond with..but would this help to keep the relationship boat afloat ?


The debate will just go on and on for years to come and still there won’t be any perfect answer.

According to me the successful unity between two people requires willingness, compromise, love and dedication. These aspects can be found in either type of marriage. Although mine was an arrange marriage I won’t/can’t expect the same from my children.


Here is a small write up on “About US” section which we had on our wedding website and which was sent to our friends and families


About Us


A typical arrange marriage…..where a boy stumbles upon the girl’s profile in one of the Matrimonial Portals….and thinks that she could be his life partner and that proceeds with the families taking the proposal forward ( matching horoscopes too )….and then followed by the frequent instant messaging and phone chats which helped the girl and boy to get to know each other better….
Then on 17th Jan 2008 the boy  (from UAE) flew down to Mumbai to see the girl for the first time (which he referred to as Girl watching ) They met at the girls house..and spent some time together n then they knew that they can spend their lives together and on 6th feb 2008 they got engaged & decided to tie the Knot on an auspicious day and which falls exactly a year after they met for the first time 16th Jan 2009
People may call it an arrange marriage , but the girl and boy would prefer calling it an arranged love marriage





10 comments:

  1. simple concept really made interesting to read.... keep u going gal!!!!

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  2. Wonderful story and I believe you have a blessed marriage. Technology has allowed you to communicate and that is one of the key aspects in our relationship. Keep the lines open and forever love each other, as we all know God is Love.

    God Bless you, Marie
    https://www.facebook.com/pages/Bloggers-Unite/227139297315313

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  3. Thank you Marieclv54, felt grate reading your comment and sharing your thoughts, do keep visiting

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  4. Lovely post Bhavna!!

    I can totally relate to this.. and u look absolutely stunning in the above pic! God bless you guys!!!

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  5. Arrange marriages are even very common in Pakistan but they don't match the horoscopes and all ...

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  6. Doesn't matter how you meet so much as what you both bring to the marriage. Enjoy your lives together!

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  7. hey bhavna! great post. it was great to see ur non-committal attitude in prefering one type over the other, rather u examined the pros n cons of both ones. i personally prefer love marriage but i agree that there's no fixed formula for happiness.

    nice post, keep writing :)

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  8. Great post. Thank you for explaining how things work in your culture. I agree that both kinds of marriages can work, and work well, if two good people enter it with the right attitude and commitment to be good to each other, respect each other, etc. I also think that liking each other as friends is a more lasting basis for long term success than the heat of romantic chemistry.

    After 37 years, my husband and I still have fun together, enjoy talking to each other, and make each other laugh. That counts for a whole lot.

    I just thought of a question: What happens during the year you are engaged? Are there courtship rules? Are you chaperoned? How does that part work?

    I wish you all happiness and a blessed life together.

    Orea
    http://orea-highervoice.blogspot.com/

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  9. BTW, one blogger to another: The popup window is cute the first time, but gets irritating quickly. As one blogger to another, I'd remove it if you can't make it only appear once. It could chase away followers.

    Blessings,
    Orea

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  10. Nice story ;) You guys look so happy together!

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